I am a “bearded woman” who likes cat role -playing – here’s a week in my sex life
10 mins read

I am a “bearded woman” who likes cat role -playing – here’s a week in my sex life

Hidi Catrine Picture: Getty/ Supplied
Bethany has struggled with body confidence (picture: gettty/delivered)

Welcome to How I do itthe series where we give you a seven day snikitt in Gender life by a stranger.

This week we hear from Bethany Burgyyne, from Londona Pssexual, sex fluent journalist, who is single and has six About three times a month.

Bethany, who uses she/they pronounces, is in kink and bdsm scene. But the 34-year-old is struggling with confidence Because she is a “bearded woman”. She has a lot of excess of hair growth, whose cause as a doctor has never been able to decide.

‘I hated my body from the age of 10 until I was 28,’ she tells Metro. ‘My hair made me so sad. But about six years ago I let my leg and armpit hair grow, stopped bleaching my forearm hair and let my bush flower.

“Then I grew in Covid also my facial hair, and a blonde -brown beard showed up. I have loved being able to drive back to the norm that women must be hair -free almost everywhere. ‘

But Bethany is still facing bullying. She says: “People point and swear to me on the street.”

But despite this, Bethany says to be able to love herself has been “the biggest, most happy gift” in her life.

Without further, here is how Leah got this week …

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not sure for the job.

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Monday

I wake up today and think of a crush. They are a shy, geeky technical bridge, who is friends with my sister. The last time I saw them I suggested that we hang alone, but I’m worried that I mean I mean Platonic.

I control my calendar and it is a hectic week ahead. I have a Shibari beginner class – which is a type of Japanese bondage. There is also the London Fetish Film Festival and a Kink Party.

I am keen to get involved in the Kink scene. I think a Shibari class can be a fun start – so I release them a message asking if they want to join.

In the afternoon I get an answer back. They are busy, but interested in future events that are good.

I am considering inviting them to the Fetish Film Festival instead, but I don’t want to drive them into this scene before they are ready.

Instead, I text an experienced dominatrix that I have had sex with the last four years. My judgment calls me immediately to confirm that he wants to go with me at the festival and that he, if I am a good girl, will come home with me and “bang me with his c*ck”.

Tuesday

Today I record a section of my podcast, The Sassy Show. I interview the founder of a queer kinky rave, based in London. Then I go to a cafe to edit my latest video about prostate massage, which I do for a sensual wellness platform.

I decide to pursue my crush a little longer And this time, send them the link to an “Impact Play” workshop. Impact Play is a term used to describe sexual methods involving beating or being hit by a consensus. They answer and say they are not sure they are ready.

I take a deep breath and melt the rejection. I think about what my kinky mentor (who became a sexual partner) would often say to me: ‘BDSM is a marathon, not a sprint, Bethany.’

I remember how long it took me to feel comfortable to get involved in different types of “play”, but I still can’t help but feel a little impatience and uncertainty bubble up in me – maybe this crusher is not the right person for me.

Wednesday

I don’t know if it’s stupidity or just blind hope, but I’ll send another invitation to my crusher today. Ivoice-list them and ask if they want to accompany me to my mother’s house.

I know they like dogs, so I let them know that I will take care of her very cute Golden Retriever.

I’m nervous about their answer, so I invite my kinky mentor to distract me. Usually we would play together, fall into comfortable routines for biting, spanking and shagging.

However, he is tired this time, and I’m on my period, so we cool and I give him a massage. When we hug goodbye, I ask for a big clamp. He forces himself, wraps me in my arms, holds me hard before I release and gives me a little tap at the bottom.

I always feel warm after seeing him – it is familiar and safe.

Thursday

I have a low self -confidence day. Being a bearded woman and trying to meet can be a challenge.

On days like this I run a bath, wash my body, massage the muscles and then set my camera into the bedroom.

I have lost and made assignment sex bands over the past three years – it is a safe way to make an income.

I make two videos showing my new sets of lingerie. If I can sell two videos I can earn back my money from the purchase. Last month I made £ 120, which was useful.

I set the camera in selfie mode, and I have two mirrors facing me so I can see myself as I move. It is an exercise of self -love.

I think I am incredibly warm in these moments when I dot in front of the ring light, bend, stretch and put, when I caress the hair and love my own body.

Friday

I spend the day at a Kink event for Queer Community, which is wonderful, because I haven’t been around this group of friends for a while.

A few months ago, I decided to take a break from them after a deep chat with my dad. I told him that I wanted a long -term, loving relationship, but I continued to go to events where I was tempted by hot kinkiness.

My father’s advice was to try different hobbies so that I could broaden my social circle.

I appreciate how open and supportive my parents are. Of course, I only tell them in a PG way, but they understand and respect my lifestyle.

I still haven’t heard back from my crush. I have a twitching of insecurity on the back of my mind.

Saturday

I’m going to a party on Sunday, which will involve opportunities for BDSM.

One of the organizers asked if I would like to book a place. They have emailed the application form, which is full of questions about my fantasies, sexual health and past experience.

I fill it out and explain that I do not want any genital part, a little easy impact and to be in a service as a servitude, preferably as a kitten.

Being treated like a cat is something I’ve explored over the past year. I like to be lovingly stroked a collar and lead, follow instructions and praise.

I also have a furniture fantasy, which is quite new to me – the idea of ​​being completely quiet and relaxing the service is relaxing. It makes me feel necessary and in a position of stillness and peace.

Later I visit my friends, who comfortably live with my crusher. I wasn’t sure if they would be there, but they are and to see them are wonderful. We have the longest, most convenient hugging that makes me feel really loved.

I have to leave in the evening to go to the London Fetish Film Festival but before I go they give me a really long hug. I resist telling them how I feel or talk about wanting to go on a date together. If something is meant to happen, it will.

Sunday

I go to the Kink party around 16:00. There are beautiful people everywhere, dressed in lingerie and kink wear, with cabinets filled with toys and other devices.

Mid-Kiss with an absolute sweetie, I hear someone joking laugh and say, “It’s so gay.” It feels like recovering the word, after all the homophobic teasing I endured as a teenager. I was only 14 years old when I played spin the bottle with my girl friends and was told that I “thought too much.”

Later, my place arrives at my BDSM session. Dominatrix and I talk about exploring pet games and setting clear boundaries for touch. We exercise safe words before the scene begins.

I crawl. I am. I let myself be led in a leash and weave between people. It’s sexy, yes, but it’s also transformative. At the end of the scene I cry: It’s a deep, cathartic release.

I think to send me to sink into my vulnerabilities and release emotions that I have locked away, for example to feel dismissed and judged by the outside world.

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