Most of us have experienced an emotionally abusive relationship at some point in our lives. Sometimes it is obvious that the relationship is bad. Other times, Blad Love Snke at us and before we even realize it is we already sucked in.

Bad relationships are dangerous for many reasons. The most harmful effects are that they increase your stress, consume your energy and destroy your self -esteem.

But even after recognizing the patterns for unhealthy relationships, it can still be very difficult to learn to release your fear.

Here is four fear to overcome so you never get stuck in a bad relationship again

1. The fear of never finding anyone else

It is perfectly normal to be afraid of what life will look like outside the relationship. You may feel as if you will never find someone who loves you or to spend your life with.

Often, unhealthy partners are working to get fear in you and make you feel like you can’t find anyone else, as shown by a Study in American Journal of Family Therapy. This is their way of manipulating yourself to stay in the relationship.

But if you live your life based on fear, you will never take chances. Growth can only happen when you choose to go outside your comfort zone, although sometimes the idea of ​​stepping outside your comfort zone can be paralyzing.

2. The fear of giving up someone who can change

Bad relationships often Rase Code -dependentwhich is the tendency to form unhealthy, one -sided or abusive relationships. The co -dependent way of thinking can cause you to believe that you can help the other person become more friendly, caring and compassionate. Therefore, it is not even to leave a bad relationship because you think they “need” you.

However, it is important to realize that you do not need to change the person you choose to spend your life with.

Therapist Gloria Brame explained the dynamics in change from a counseling point of view, “I have seen enormous positive changes in client behavior and choices during therapy, no matter how severe their problems are in the beginning. You do not change the person but you can free their concerns, proposed by a Article in Journal of Personality and Social PsychologyOr change their attitude and give them the opportunity to make choices that adapt positively to who they are already. You cannot help anyone change if they are not committed to making changes. It is a partnership and they are 50% of the equation to successfully develop into a better place in their lives. “

Related: 8 steps and a scientific experiment that will change the way you fall in love – for the better

3. The fear that you will not survive without them

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Once you have been dependent on someone for several years or even decades, it can be difficult to imagine creating a life that does not include that person. You have probably lost sight of who you are, what you like and what is most important to you in life, which makes Drop off a bad relationship Even more difficult.

Your partner has led you to believe that this unhealthy environment is your “new normal” and your life will be like this forever. This need not be the case. Although it may seem scary at first, you can learn to survive on your own and eventually learn how to love yourself again.

Related: Therapist says that if you ask yourself these three questions every morning you start treating yourself better

4. The fear of expecting too much

After being in an unhealthy relationship for a while, you can start to confuse chaos for love. The high “high” and low “lowness” of relationships can be addictive because many are thriving by the chaos.

“Are you realizing that maybe the choices you make is actually the reason you can’t get a healthy relationship, asked Relationship Coach Mitzi Bockmann. Fortunately, knowing what these characters mean is the first step towards breaking the pattern. Having awareness is the most important way to make changes. People who are looking for chaos in relationships are often people who have handled things in their lives that have made them poorly prepared for a healthy relationship. “

You may even look at the times in your relationship when there were no fighting, screaming or threatening and feels like these “calm” moments are boring because you are so used to always being at the edge.

Chaos is not love. You should not be in a relationship where you have become accustomed to it. Releasing a bad relationship can be difficult, but You deserve more And are worth more than you might think.

Related: 4 Old -fashioned dating expectations to throw away, and one we have to take back

This article was written by Amanda Wiegert for Life counseling solutions.

Amanda Wiegart, LMHC, is a life coach who is passionate about helping people navigate in all stages of life.