Ask Eric: I am a widow, and getting Valentine’s Daycare adds my heartache
2 mins read

Ask Eric: I am a widow, and getting Valentine’s Daycare adds my heartache

Dear Eric: Valentine’s Day is approaching and members of my family and friends send me “Happy Valentine’s Day” texts, and know I’m widow. They claim that Valentine’s Mards are for everyone, not just couples.

Otherwise, I feel and this just rubs salt in my wounds. These wishes feel very thoughtless and insensitive to me. How do I answer?

– Sourring widow

Dear Sorrow Widow: Although your family and friends have good intentions, it is important that they hear you when you say that these intentions have the opposite intended impact. If there are any who have repeatedly sent texts or made a point to contradict you about your own feelings, proactively asks before Valentine’s Day that they do not send a message can help.

Now it can also pull you into a debate. This is the disadvantage. But you don’t have to debate. You have set a limit and when people cross our boundaries, even with good intentions and drawers with chocolate, it is an indication that they are not in the right place to be in a good relationship with us.

If you would rather not get into it in advance, you can answer from case by case with something short and clear. “I’m not celebrating Valentine’s Day. But I would love to hear from you on (any other holiday or important milestone). “

People can exceed in their desire to support those of us who grief. They may want you to “be ok” or use the day to remember your love. They may think they help. If this is not where you are or what you want, it is good to communicate it. It may also be helpful to remind yourself that those who are not in your shoes may not fully understand.

It’s not on you to fix, but it can reduce the sting. If all else fails, V-Day may be a time you want to put your phone in a box and do something that gives you peace.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter on rericthomas.com.

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