The older I get, the less I like Christmas presents (to shop for them, anyway) and the more I wish I could officially reserve Christmas presents just for children, who are so demonstrative and easy to impress that they do even the most gigantic hassle worth it. for the looks on their faces when they come down on Christmas morning.

But sometimes it makes you feel like a big Grinch if you don’t like shopping for Christmas presents for your family and friends.

There is a widely felt but little talked about feeling – well documented in movies, TV shows and books – of great weariness that settles over the shoulders of Christmas shoppers. But we are expected to act as if it is not true for us, as if we do everything with a smile.

There are, it must be admitted, people for whom the giving and receiving of gifts is a luxury out of reach. There are poor children whose parents don’t have money to pile presents under the tree. There are soldiers in the army serving in remote locations who can only dream of walking through a mall in search of just the right pair of leather gloves for grandma.

Every year I tell myself to keep the list short this year. It is only the close family that makes it through.

Okay, close family and really good friends who might also give me gifts, which humiliates me if I don’t reciprocate.

Hmmm…close family and really good friends and the kids’ teachers and my office secret Santa and a couple of gifts for Toys for Tots and the white elephant party, plus a little something for the babysitter and the soccer coach, and apparently Uncle Ralph has decided to come to the Christmas table and he won’t have anything to open during the gift exchange after he cut his son off for getting a covid vaccine.

Oh, also, the mailman left an envelope in the mailbox the other day with her name written in all caps so we didn’t misspell, so maybe a gift card in there too.

This is my fate as an American: I consume. I make lists and I shop and I buy, and only the fall of Western civilization could change my annual winter fate.

At least in one way it heightens my anticipation for the day itself. On December 25th, I am full of holiday cheer, because the greatest joy of the season has arrived: it is the day when the Christmas shopping is done.