Dear Annie: In a few weeks my sons, 22 and 20, will visit. Both have said that they do not want to renew the lease. I love and like my boys. I would welcome them with open arms. But there must be rules and boundaries. Is it to ask them to work part -time instead of full -time while pursuing their dreams and a small amount of rent too much?

—Lost in Colorado

Dear Colorado: It’s not too much. In addition, you should not accept anything less.

I am curious about how we jumped from them and visited them and moved in with you, but I guess this is the result of many longer and more involved conversations. It is wise for them to try to save money on the rent by living with the family. But as adults can and should also contribute to household costs. And they should have a plan for how long they want to stay and how stay helps them achieve their financial goals. It’s good to ask them about it. In fact, your questions can make them think through things they don’t have yet.

Their plans should also adapt to yours. It will be better if you can all come up with a plan that works for everyone.

It is also good to ask specific questions about the nature of “pursuing their dreams.” Maybe this means that you get a degree or go into an apprenticeship that does not pay well. Saving money on the rent is meaningful, but it also does to build skills from part -time work and good financial management.

Just as good fences do good neighbors, make good boundaries good house mates. Letting them know how they can show respect for you, your financial needs and your shared home will help you all enjoy the time you will spend together.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and register for his weekly newsletter on reerathomas.com.)

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