Kelly Medina Enos, 34, turned to mild parenting when she struggled with her son who beat her

A “gentle parent” has shared that she does not force her five -year -old son to apologize because it feels “unclear” and believes that this strategy helps him “keep empathy” and better express his feelings. Kelly Medina Enos, 34, Embraced mild parenting When she met challenges with her then 18 -month -old son George’s behavior, which included beating.

When he turns to Tiktok for advice, a proposal from a viewer led her to explore Mild parent methodthat emphasizes empathy, respect and understanding. Originally skeptical and finding the concept “ridiculous” Kelly’s perspective changed after deepening in research and she began to implement the techniques, for example to avoid the word “not” and instead tell George what she would like him to do.

She refrained from forcing excuses and chose to help George reflect on situations instead. Kelly avoids punishing insulation as the “naughty step” or “time out” and offers a “quiet corner” if George chooses to have time alone.

Now is also a mother of 14 -month -old Ariella, Kelly applies mild parenting with her daughter as well, even teaches her child’s sign language to help communication for needs such as more food or drink. As a certified mild parenting based in York, North Yorkshire, Kelly said: “I do not force my child to say sad. A child does not develop empathy until they are about 11 years old. Expecting a child to have empathy is a learned skill. “

Kelly added: “If we say” go and say sad ” – if saying they jerked a toy – is it forced. You think you have not allowed the child to go back. Instead say -” What happened here? “How do you think it thinks that person feels?

“It’s not that we don’t want them to say sad but there is a difference between telling them what to do. We still guide them through. We teach our children how to get better next time.”

Kelly was lost when her son George, then 18 months old, began to act. She acknowledged that she had “no parenting style”. She said, “He started beating me and beating me. I thought” What do I do? “.

A chance meeting at Tiktok led Kelly to the concept of mild parenting. She said: “The videos I saw at first I probably thought it was just talking gently. I thought it was a bit ridiculous.” But felt “so lost” and willing to “try anything”, Kelly pulled deeper into this parenting.

She started by changing her choice of words. She said: “Climbing was a huge thing for me. George climbed everything. I said” go down “but it didn’t seem to land at all.”

“I started saying” feet on the floor kind “. I was surprised by the difference by changing how I talked to him instead of telling him what I don’t want. I started removing the word” not “. I still had discipline. Now she often uses phrases like “hands off” instead of “don’t touch” or “no”.

Kelly has embraced a new attitude to parenting her son George and learns to refrain from the common demand for apology, and it has a positive impact on his empathy. She shared her experience and said, “He keeps empathy and he is incredible to communicate his feelings. He can come home in tremendous frustration and I keep him and he is crumbling. He will say he has had a bad day and relief.

“If I hadn’t allowed him to feel and put him in his room, would it naughty the step or time have opened to me?”

Kelly rejects traditional “forced isolation” methods such as time outputs, thinks these can strike back. She said: “With forced isolation, the child often becomes more of the pleasure or rebels. They learn that they have no voice and their feelings do not matter.

“In Time Out, a child is told to” sit and think about what you have done “. The child does not think how they could have handled it better.” She added, “They teach me” I have to remove my feelings of frustration and anger and then I am considered lovely “.”

Instead, Kelly promotes a milder alternative with her “calm corner”. She said: “We will stay away from forced insulation but we make a quiet corner that I offer George.”

“I’ll ask him” Do you want some time in the quiet corner? “” Describes the space, she says: “It has books and a respiratory card – it’s a non -sensory hook. It’s an option.”

Kelly’s journey with George stimulated her to become a qualified parenting in September 2024. Her training required intensive self -reflection, especially to investigate why George’s behavior sometimes led to frustration.

She said: “I really struggled because of how I was growing up – it was very screaming. It was distilled in me. I shouted quite often. I worked that I expected a lot of George. I said loudly” why does he act as Such a child? ‘He used to pull out all baby dryers.

Kelly has embraced gently parenting with her daughter Ariella, starting with baby sign language to promote communication. She said: “We started the sign language with her. It is to relieve that frustration. Ariella can communicate when she wants more food. After each meal she will ask for more. How would our relationship be if you do not know how to communicate If she wants more food?

Kelly clarifies that mild parenting is often mistaken for permissible parenting, which tends to avoid setting boundaries and allows the child to take responsibility. But she claims that she does not aim for perfection but insists on maintaining boundaries with her children.

She said: “Nobody never shouts. No one gets it right all day every day. Mild parenting is when we seek connection even when we correct a child. We allow room for greater emotions and give them rot lessons without blaming and embarrassing.

“People say it’s a simple way out – it’s probably the most difficult form of parenting. I wish people would give it a change before they make a snap judgment.” You can follow Kelly’s parent trip on Tiktok @kellymedinaenos.