That sense of impending doom? Don’t ignore it. Doomsday could be right around the corner, via a natural disaster or a block party with DJ Khaled, although most of us don’t spend much time thinking about it. Our planet’s history is full of close calls—massive asteroids that nearly collide with Earth, supervolcanoes, plagues, the Cuban Missile Crisis. And these days we have Kim Jong Un, who acts like he’s going to push the big red button just to see what it does, and other real-life Bond villains (and wannabes) with buttons of their own. Near the end no longer seems so far-fetched.

So why not fall protection more common? Nobody I know has one, and I know a lot of people, some of whom are rich enough to live in million dollar homes. If that sounds like you, consider this: What’s another 60 grand or so between friends? It gives you a nice 200 square meter underground shelter, which can withstand a nuclear weapon. Too much? You can get one prefabricated concrete bunker half the size for about $20,000.

If the world as we know it ends, you have somewhere to go. If it doesn’t, you can use the space as a den or playroom – useful in the event of a later disaster as repopulating the planet may be first on your new to-do list.

However, there is an inconvenient problem. Advance planning of this nature can make you seem like a jerk, especially if you don’t stop talking about it. It goes double if you have a dedicated YouTube channel. And many people who have fallout protection have made it their thing. That means when the dust settles, those left behind will mostly be doomsday preppers, aka crackpots. Unless we want them to inherit the Earth, we need to dilute the gene pool with some well-adjusted, sane people—the kind who would never think of building a bunker.

Trying to persuade normal people to build bunkers is inappropriate. If you go that route, get ready for arguments against your position, the main one of which has to do with necessity – or rather a lack thereof. “I don’t need one,” says the man with a Rolex wrapped around his wrist, a boat he never uses in his garage and a piano he can’t play in his living room. Since when has it been okay to buy something if you don’t need it? Prepare for the flood, lest you drown like Noah’s neighbors, I say. A false sense of security is dangerous in the best of times, let alone times like these.

The Masters of the Universe, with or without a nuclear button, don’t know how to deflect a world-enveloping asteroid or electromagnetic solar flare. Nor can they stop a tsunami, earthquake or hurricane. These are hugely complicated issues that require a lot of money, effort and time to solve – which is sad. It is cheaper, faster and more fun to build bunkers for themselves and hope, for the sake of the rest of us, that day never comes. If or when it does, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men will cower into their hiding places while the rest of us burn.

So I build my own, filled to the brim with Twinkies and potassium iodide pills. I urge you to do the same. Remember, if you go on and on about it (like I’m doing now.) you’re only going to be a blast if you set it and forget it, no one is the wiser.

If I close my eyes, I can see it: You’re in your bunker and I’m in mine, and I’m holding a CB radio, trying to find you in a post-apocalyptic world.

“This is Tamim Almousa, leader of the Build a Bunker movement. Anyone out there?”

“Yeah, this is DJ Khaled, are you reading me?”

Damn it.

Tamim Almousa is a copywriter and screenwriter.